He sat down across from me
This is serious .. I said as I looked at his face
hidden in the night under the blackened sky
“yes it is” I know or else you wouldn’t have come
to visit me …
On the table in front of me he laid out
my entire life, the tools I had gathered
the things I had learned, the gifts I had
been given I saw the pieces as they
were laid out one by one…
Do you see the board ?
Yes ,
Do you understand the game?
I believe so …
Then how do you play ? to win or lose ?
neither, you just play
Correct for if you limit the game if you perceive
something as winning or losing you therefore
limit the game and yourself….
Example…
Remember when you were drugged, kidnapped,raped
yes.. was that winning or losing
neither, for what i learned helped me more then the momentary pain
when you were at the height of your musical career and the project
dissolved was that winning or losing
neither for without that I would never had opened the doors which
created these future opportunities
When you fell in love and thought they were the one and then they were gone
neither for without the lose I would have never loved this person who taught me
this ..
He drew a line across the board…
Now what are you going to do….
I looked at the board with all of the pieces
all of the gifts with a map of the world
a map of dreams a map of possibilities
We are going to raise the stakes now
everything in on the board
your entire life, all your dreams, everyone you love and loved
Your pride, your fear, your insecurities, your shadows, your past,
the things that hurt you the most and the things that you fear the most
they are all on the board..
I looked at him… so if you came then you came to show me
something I don’t already know
The silence drew in as the sun started to rise
Your next move means risking everything you are and have been
for in order for you to move forward you must take all the things
you fear, everything that hurt you, every memory, every trauma,
every secret, every doubt, every thing people use against you,
everything you believed, every insecurity every self doubt, all the
things that hold you back and place them on the board
anything your still keeping inside you most now take out
and use it, use all of it, and fear none of it, or else it will prevent you
from playing with your whole being…
If you play with any less then every ounce of energy then you ….
“aren’t really playing”
I am just watching then as other play, and i become like the
pieces on the board…
he looked out as the sun started to crack over the city
You can run away now and he turned toward the rising sun..
I looked at him, but if I run then I may as well end this game
once and for all,
But if you stay you have to risk everything or else
your not actually playing
I know…
Do you understand the risk if you continue to play ?
I looked out a thousand things flashed inside of my third eye
yes.. I understand what I am risking, I understand it may not be the easiest
thing to do, but yet to run despite my fears, despite my doubts, would be to never really live…
It would be to live as many live, to wake up to do things you don’t even understand why you do them, to believe things you don’t even understand why to believe, to secretly never feel loved, to secretly never feel ok, then to end up trying to numb the never ending hunting inside that says something is wrong with pills, or drugs, or some distraction, and to live always distracting yourself from yourself because you ran from yourself and you never played you were always but a piece being played is to never really live and I would rather end the game and move out of this world and body into another… I see them everywhere there not here, there somewhere else, and if I ask them things they look away, their eyes glass over I feel their hearts push out, and then they say… everything is ok…. as they then turn and go back into the machine, plug in , distract and silence the voice inside…
I don’t want to live like that …
So Yes I understand the risk, I understand the cliff I understand the fall, I understand the pain, I understand the great heights and depths I may have to travel and yet even though part of me wants to run, I know
there is nowhere to run, so I either play or am played and I already put everything on the board
my love
my heart
my money
my pride
my time
my family
my ego
my body
my soul
my life…
he looked at me….
fine then be prepared to play with everything you are and everything you can become and never look back and never let yourself doubt your dreams and never forget why you play
ahhhhh
Thats the hard part, thats the trick, for in this world in this town they teach you to play for money, for love, for fame, for power, but that can’t be the reason you play or you’ll never really play, for when you have something to lose you can’t give your all and so only when you have nothing to lose or win can you ever really play…
very few really play you have seen them they are forever remembered for when they play and how they play can change the game
He looked away
Are you still going to play….?
Yes…
Why are you going to play ?
For the things I never speak about
But i know and you know
the city closed in….
The time is now
I know
So go and play
Play till your light leaves your body
Till the sun fails to rise
Till there is nothing left
play with all of your
mind body and heart
play for the things
you don’t speak about
……..
He drew a line
Remember why you play
Remember to play
and Remember never to forget
the one rule that overcomes all the others
there is only one way to really play
and that is by playing
willing to lose everything
willing to give everything
willing to walk with nothing
I looked up…
what would the world be like
if everyone knew
you couldn’t win
you couldn’t lose
you can only really play?
what if the whole world knew
you cant lose love
you cant lose things
you cant own love
you cant own things
what if the whole world remembered
who we are
who we can be
who we would become
if we could see the truth
but the truth was lost
in a game others created
with rules to rule
in fear and doubt
but there is no fear
when there is nothing to lose
I looked at the fading stars
I am part of that
I looked at the rising sun
I am part of that
I looked at the sky
I am part of that
and when I leave this body
I got back to that
and I cannot carry
anything but light
so now…..
I chose to play
……
Then it was over
he was gone
and I remembered everything
as if it was a dream

















